Everyone's favorite pirate has been doing some traveling, and he's captured his adventures on film.

WARNING:  The activities in this photo essay were performed by a professional.  Do not attempt this at home or you may risk injury to yourself and others.

 Meet Steve.  He's a pirate.  He came ashore in Pensacola, Florida searching for fun and adventure.

In true pirate fashion, Steve began getting to know the culture.  Soon he was sipping drinks and singing with the locals. 

Steve knew that the best way to find what he was looking for was to hang out with the coolest guys in town.

Everybody knows there's nothing cool guys like more than cool brews.  Arrgh!  Another beer matey!

Any good pirate is always looking for booty, but the great ones actually get the girls to shake it!

When the dancing was done, Steve got the low-down on an up-town Jacuzzi party.  So he hijacked a scooter and headed out!

Chicks dig pirates!  Here, Steve works his magic in the hot tub.  Ahoy!

A pirate can only take so much partying!  Soon, Steve headed out into the world to find his fortune.

Always ready to do his part as a good citizen, Steve battled trash along the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

Walking gets you nowhere fast, especially when you're a six-inch tall pirate.  As soon as he could, Steve hitched a ride out of town.
Steve got in good with the locals at the Outback Steakhouse in Gulfport, looking for work.

There's just not much of a market for pirates anymore.  Eventually, Steve landed himself a sweet government contract job, making big money.

"No, thank you!" said Steve.  "Argh!"